


Fear Of

by KatieBug1998



Series: Supernatural One-Shots, Sick Fics, Injured Fics, and Hurt/Comfort [35]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Castiel has Anxiety, Doctor Dean Winchester, Hospitalization, Pneumonia, Sick Castiel, Sickfic, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-25 19:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13841868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieBug1998/pseuds/KatieBug1998
Summary: Castiel has severe pneumonia, enough to land him in the hospital under the care of a Dr. Dean Winchester.Pneumonia's pretty bad but what's even worse for Cas is his fear of hospitals.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a chapter fic of another by the same name. 
> 
> I felt like the ending was tacked on so I wanted to clean it up and make it longer. 
> 
> The chapters are going to be very short.

Dr. Dean Winchester has been at the hospital for almost twenty-four hours.

He's sitting at the circulation desk eating from a bag of potato chips, wondering why he volunteered for the night shift when a nurse hands him a tablet. "Patient. Bed six." She walks away.

Dean groans. He continues to eat while he studies the chart.

Castiel Novak. Male. 38 years old. Fever of 105. High blood pressure. Low pulse ox. Complaints of fatigue, fever, nausea, persistent and productive cough. Brought in because of hallucinations brought on by the high fever.

And then, below all of that, in bold letters: Patient has a fear of hospitals. That would explain the high blood pressure and why this patient didn't see a doctor sooner.

Dean throws away his empty bag of chips and walks to bed six. In it sits a man who he assumes would be handsome if not for the sickly pallor. The tousled black hair and blue eyes are what really gets him. "Mr. Novak?" Dean asks.

Dean notes the man's tight grip on his blanket. He clears his throat. "Yes."

"I'm Dr. Winchester." Mr. Novak nods. His anxiety is so obvious that it probably didn't even need to be written in the chart. Because of this, Dean adds, "But you can call me Dean, if that makes you more comfortable."

"Call me Castiel, then." He smiles but in an uncomfortable way.

Dean smiles back. "So, Castiel, do you mind telling me what brought you in here today?"

Castiel's eyes dart across the room. "Um... I, uh..."

So Dean takes the initiative. "You've had a fever." Cas looks back at him and nods slowly. "High enough to cause hallucinations?" Cas nods. "Could you please elaborate on that for me?"

"My brothers knew I was sick. I've been sick for a week, almost two. They came to visit me and, um, well I don't know. I just woke up in the car on the way to the hospital."

Rather than asking more questions since that seems to be making Cas uncomfortable, Dean offers the information that require confirmation rather than answers. "So you've been having symptoms of a cold, correct? Fever, headache, coughing, some nausea, lack of appetite?" Castiel nods again. "Now the coughing – is that dry or wet?"

"Wet." Dean notices his fists tightening around the blankets again; it seems to happen each time he answers a question.

"Have you been coughing up mucus?" Castiel winces almost imperceptibly. "Sorry. Gross question." Dean smiles briefly, hopefully encouragingly.

"Yes, I have."

Dean sets the chart down. "Okay. I'll start my physical examination now." This time, Cas' whole body tenses. Dean recalls his sensitivity training in med school and the seminar they had a couple months back. "All I need to do is listen to your heart and lungs and look in your ears, nose, and throat." Telling a nervous patient what you're about to do before you do it is usually helpful. Making conversation is said to help as well so that's exactly what Dean does.

"So the brothers you mentioned, are they here?" He walks alongside the bed to the wall, picking up the otoscope.

"I sent them down to the gift shop or cafeteria or something. Gabriel was trying to make me feel better by joking about hot nurses, and Balthazar was just hovering."

"I'm just gonna look in your ear real quick." Dean puts the tip of the otoscope in Castiel's ear. "Balthazar. That's a strange name." No redness or other sign of infection. "Can you turn so I can look in the other ear?"

Cas turns his head to the side. "Our parents had a thing for angel names."

"Hmm," Dean says. He throws away the tip of the otoscope and tests the light on the end against his hand. "Let me just look in your throat and then I'll listen to your heart and lungs, okay?"

"Okay."

"Open your mouth and say 'ah.'" Cas does. Dean looks for a few seconds and then leans back. "Your throat is pretty red. Have you been coughing a lot?"

"Yeah."

"Alright." Dean puts back the otoscope and takes the stethoscope from around his neck. "Quick listen and then I'm done." Dean puts the earpieces in and then rests the tip over Cas' chest where his heart is. It's beating hard and fast, but it sounds fine. It concerns Dean that Cas is still this nervous after being here so long. He almost considers calling psych to see if anyone can help but figures it's best to broach the subject later. Dean moves to Cas' lungs. He listens for a few seconds. They sound bad, crackling in many places probably from fluid in the air sacks of his lungs. He figures it could be this bad for one of two reasons. One: it's just pneumonia and it sounds like this because he's waited so long to come in. Two: it's something worse. Dean would rather it be the former. "Take a deep breath for me," he instructs. When Cas breaths out, he can hear shaking accompanying the crackling. So, still really nervous.

Dean takes off his stethoscope and straightens up. He's about to start speaking when a voice behind him says, "Cas, how are you feeling?" Dean turns to see two men, presumably Castiel's brothers, approaching.

"Not much better since I saw you half an hour ago." Dean almost laughs at that.

The taller of the two brothers reaches out. Dean shakes his hand. "I'm Balthazar and this is Gabriel. We're Cas' brothers."

"Nice to meet you," Dean says. "I'm Dr. Winchester. As I was just about to tell Cas, I think he has pneumonia." Again, Cas' hands tighten around the blanket, this time pulling at it too. He turns to look at Cas. "I'd like to get x-rays of your lungs to see exactly what's going on and then we'll go from there." He's almost certain Cas will need to stay for at least a few days, but he doesn't want to scare him any more than he already is.

Cas looks up at Balthazar, with almost pleading eyes. "Is that really necessary?" Balthazar asks for him.

"I'm afraid so. I'd rather see what's going on inside before I decide on a course of treatment." To Cas, he says, "Don't worry. X-rays don't hurt or anything. All you have to do is stand and hold your breath for a few seconds. Okay?"

Cas nods reluctantly. "Yeah."

"I'll put the order in and someone will be up soon." Looking down and seeing Cas' knuckles almost white around the sheet, he amends, "You know what, no one else is here right now and my shift is almost over anyway. I'll just take you up there myself."

He sees some of the tension leave Cas' body then. "Thank you."

"Sure thing. I'll be back in a little while."

As he walks away, Dean hears, "I think he likes you, Cassie."

"Shut up."

Dean smiles.


	2. Chapter 2

On the way up to radiology with Dean pushing Cas in a wheelchair as per hospital policy, Dean asks, "So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an interpreter for deaf people. I work from home. It's usually like a hearing person calls a deaf person and the deaf person sees me on the screen signing what the hearing person is saying."

"That's cool. My brother's fiancée is deaf. I'm trying to learn but it's not as easy for me as it was for him. He picked it up in, like, a month."

"I could help you some," Castiel says.

"That would be great actually."

They turn down a hall and reach the door to radiology. Dean puts the brakes on the wheelchair on. "Wait here for a sec. I'm gonna talk to the radiologist real quick."

Dean goes in the room where Charlie sits at a computer. "Hey, Charlie," he says.

"Hey, Winchester. What brings you up here?"

In a low tone of voice, he says, "I've got this patient with bad anxiety. I thought it'd make him more comfortable if I came up with him."

"That's sweet of you." Charlie smirks.

"Shut up. I need x-rays to confirm pneumonia."

"Sure thing. Bring him on in."

Dean goes out in the hallway to get Cas. "We're ready," Dean says. He wheels Cas into the radiology room where Charlie is already standing by the x-ray machine. She smiles warmly at Cas. "I'll be just in the other room behind the glass while Charlie sets you up," he says. He locks the brakes.

"Alright, come over here," Charlie says.

In the other room, Dean watches as Charlie takes him to the machine on the wall. She guides him forward, telling him to press his chest against it. "So just take a deep breath when I tell you to and hold it until I tell you to breathe out. Okay?" Cas nods. "I'll be right back," she says.

She sits in the chair next to Dean. "He's sweet," she comments. "I bet he's great, you know, when he's not in the hospital." She clicks on the screen a couple times.

"Yeah, I'm working on that. Trying to make him more comfortable so he can get better faster."

"I'm getting strong gay vibes," she says nonchalantly. She presses on the intercom button, ignoring Dean's deep blush. "Take a deep breath," she says. "Hold." She clicks a few times. "Okay, done. You can sit down. Dean'll get you in a minute."

Dean points at the scans. "Pneumonia."

"Yeah. Bad, too." She sucks in a breath through her teeth. "That's gotta be, what, at least a week in the hospital."

"At least."

"He's not gonna like that."

"No, he's not." Dean straightens up. "Well, I'll see you later. Thanks."

"Sure thing. See you later."

Dean goes back in the other room and gets Cas' wheelchair. "So?" he asks.

Dean considers telling him he wants to wait to talk to both him and his brothers but figures that would only freak him out more. "You do have pneumonia." He hears Cas take a shaky breath. "I'd like to wait until we get back to the ER with your brothers before discussing your treatment plan."

"Okay," Cas says nervously.

Dean wracks his brain for something to say, to help Cas take his mind off all this. "So my brother's fiancée, Eileen, they've known each other for about a year. It's funny, actually. After they talked, and Sam realized she's deaf, he went to sign 'thank you' but accidentally signed 'fuck you.'" Dean laughs.

"What did she do?"

"Well she's really sweet so she just showed him how to sign it right. She didn't tell him until later what he did. He was so embarrassed."

"When are they getting married?"

"Three months from now She wants to go to Ireland where her family lives which sucks for me because I hate planes." He shudders.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. They scare the holy hell out of me. I've only been on one three times."

"Ireland is a long ways away, even on a plane."

"Thanks for the reminder."

"Sorry."

"I was joking, Cas," Dean reassures him.

"Oh."

"How did you get into sign language?"

"A guy in my freshman class of high school was deaf. No one really talked to him or anything so I made an effort."

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, well. We ended up dating later." Dean's heart jumps; so he is gay. "Thankfully the horrendous breakup didn't destroy my love of sign language otherwise I wouldn't have the job I do."

"That is a good thing. The best thing I ever got from a boyfriend was a Led Zeppelin tape. I still have it too."

"That's not so bad."

"Can't make a career out of a music tape, but at least the breakup didn't destroy my love of Led Zeppelin." Cas laughs quietly.

They enter the doors of the ER and Dean takes them to the bed where Cas' brothers remain.

"Hey, man," Gabriel says.

Dean pulls the wheelchair to the side of the bed and Cas gets into the bed, under the covers.

Right to the point, Dean says, "So Castiel does have pneumonia."

Gabriel starts to say something, Dean guesses it's along the lines of "I told you so" based on his expression, but Balthazar tells him to shut up.

"Based on the severity of your symptoms, you'll need to stay here for a few days." By that, he means a week, but he doesn't really want to say that. Doctors do that all the time, understate the realities of the patient's situation to keep them from getting scared or something.

Cas' hands pull at the blanket. "But–"

"Cas, let the man finish," Balthazar says gently.

"Normally, with someone your age, I'd just send you home on oral medication, but since you waited so long, that wouldn't really be safe." Cas starts to protest again but Dean keeps going. "You passed out, you were hallucinating. You should see the amount of fluid in your lungs. Low pulse ox, high fever. None of that makes a good combination." Sincerely, he says, "I'm sorry, but you need to be admitted." Cas takes as deep a breath as he can, trying to calm down. "I'll do what I can. I'll get you the nice nurses, make sure they know about you." Dean smiles. "You'll be fine, okay?" Cas nods. Dean lowers his hand, lets his fingers skim Cas'. "I'll start the paperwork to get you admitted. I'll be back later."


	3. Chapter 3

That night, after Castiel Novak is successfully admitted and asleep in his hospital bed, Dean leaves to go to an on-call room. He's dead on his feet from working who-knows-how-many hours this week and there's no way he's driving home now when there are perfectly good (decent) beds right here in the hospital. He flops face-down on the bed and falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow.

Only a few hours later, he's awakened by the obnoxious beeping of his pager. Despite being in an on-call room, he isn't actually on-call, so who the fuck is paging him?

He picks up the pager, squinting at it. It's the room number for Castiel Novak. Shit. Dean quickly gathers his things and rushes out of the room, down the hall. He enters the room to see Castiel hunched over a basin and coughing into it. A nurse is standing there, rubbing his back. "The doctor's here now, sweetie," she says comfortingly.

Dean walks over. "You can go now," he says to the nurse. "I got him." She leaves.

"Hey, Cas," he says quietly. Castiel just continues coughing, almost gagging. Dean sits on the bed next to him. "It's okay. You're gonna be okay." Dean puts a hand on Cas' back and rubs in soothing circles. "Just ride it out." Cas coughs for another minute. Dean continues rubbing his back until he's stopped.

Cas inhales once shakily and then leans back into the bed. Dean takes the basin from him, looking at the tissues lining the bottom and, thankfully, seeing no blood.

"Let me take a quick listen," Dean says. He takes his stethoscope from around his neck and puts the earpieces in. Castiel nods, closing his eyes; Dean notes the tears that leak out as he does so. Dean rests the diaphragm over Cas' heart. It's pounding worse than before from the strain the coughing put on him. Dean moves to the lungs. They don't sound better but he doesn't hear anything that would indicate anything worse than pneumonia. "Can you please sit up for me?" Dean asks. Cas does. Dean puts his hand on Cas' shoulder, keeping him steady and hopefully providing some comfort. After that, he tells Cas to lay back down. "How do you feel?"

"Like crap." Castiel wipes his cheeks, smearing away the tears.

Dean smiles. "For real, though."

"I feel the same as before."

"That's to be expected," Dean says. "You've only been here a few hours. The fluids may have brought your fever down but your body still needs time to fight this off." Cas closes his eyes. He looks more exhausted than Dean feels. "I'll leave you to sleep and be back in a few hours to check on you."

He starts to stand but Cas reaches out. He misses Dean wrist and ends up grabbing Dean's fingers in his weak grip. "Can you please stay?" His blue eyes are pleading as he asks. "I don't want to be alone."

Dean hesitates, his heart breaking just a little for his patient. "Of course," he says. "Of course." Dean pulls out a recliner from the corner and sits on it.

Cas falls asleep minutes later and Dean follows suit.

• • •

Dean's woken up sometime later by a person shaking his shoulder. He runs a hand down he face before looking up to see a nurse. Quietly, she says, "I was just coming in to check Mr. Novak's vitals."

"Oh, that's okay. I'll do it since I'm here."

"Alright," she says, and then leaves.

Dean stands. He stretches, cracks his neck and his back. On-call beds may not be the best but they definitely beat the recliners in patient rooms.

Dean reaches out and gently touches Cas' shoulder.

Cas opens his eyes slowly but then they widen when he remembers where he is. Dean squeezes his shoulder lightly. Cas' eyes dart to him and them he seems to relax, if only minutely.

"Hey, Cas. It's okay. You're okay."

"Yeah," Cas responds quietly. Then he asks, "Did you sleep here all night?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to do that."

"No, no. It's okay. You were..." he trails off.

"Scared," Cas finishes for him. Dean provides no comment.

"So, uh, I'm gonna check your vitals, if that's okay?"

"Sure."

Dean goes to the cart the nurse left and rolls it closer to the bed.

He gets out the thermometer and puts it under Cas' tongue. Then, he takes out the blood pressure cuff. Cas' eyes widen almost, almost, imperceptibly. "Try to relax," Dean instructs. "Lay back, close your eyes. Focus on your breathing and think about being someplace else." Castiel settles into the bed and shuts his eyes. Dean wraps it around Cas' arm. He puts on the stethoscope and puts the diaphragm of it under the cuff. He starts inflating it. When it's fully inflated, Dean glances up from the numbers very briefly to look at Cas' face. His eyes are squeezed shut. Dean then looks back at the numbers before uninflating it and taking the cuff and then his stethoscope off.

"A lot better than last night," Dean says. He puts that back and then grabs the chart, recording the numbers. The thermometer then beeps and Dean takes it out. "That's a little better too." Dean throws away the disposable sleeve from the outside of the thermometer and puts it back. "Neither are where I'd like them to be, but it's still improvement."

Dean then checks some other things like his heart and lungs, the IV bags, and his pulse ox.

When he's done, Dean's stomach growls, loudly, and he's reminded that all he had for lunch yesterday was a sandwich and all he had for dinner was a bag of chips.

Castiel smiles very slightly. "You should go, if you need to eat," he says.

Dean exhales a laugh. "Yeah, I think I will. I'll be back real soon," he says.

When he exits the room, he runs right in to Dr. Harper. "Winchester. What are you still doing here?"

"Uh –"

"Look, you know the new policy. I happen to know you've reached the max amount of work hours for this week. Go home. Shower. Eat something. Whatever, just get out of here."

"I –"

"Do you want me to get sued? Because that's what HR keeps telling me every time a doctor goes even one hour over."

"But I've got this patient –"

"We've all got patients, Winchester," he says harshly. "Someone'll look after yours. You've got two days off. Use them wisely." Dean glances behind him at Cas who looks worried. "Out. Now," Dr. Harper insists.

Dean leaves, already knowing he's going to regret it.


	4. Chapter 4

Hours later, after Dean has brushed his teeth, showered, eaten, and fallen asleep, his phone rings. He squints at the caller ID before answering. "Dr. Cooper?" he asks groggily. 

"Hey, sorry. I tried your pager but you didn't respond so I figured I'd call." 

"What is it?" 

"Your patient, Castiel Novak, I think he had a panic attack. He won't let anyone touch him. I called psych for a therapist but he wouldn't talk to her. He kept asking if you were there." 

"Tell Cas I'm on my way." Screw Dr. Harper. 

• • •

Dr. Harper happens to be the first person he sees as soon as he steps off the elevator. "Winchester, I told you to go home." His voice is a mixture of frustration and annoyance. 

"Sir, with all due respect, I have a patient with acute anxiety who was having a panic attack while I was at home and I seem to be the only person here who can remotely calm him down. On top of that, he has lungs riddled with pneumonia. Panic attacks will only make things worse, you know that." Dr. Harper glares. "Just consider me a friend or family member for the next two days. I don't even have my scrubs or lab coat with me." He's met with silence. "I won't be his doctor; I'll let the nurses and whoever has his case now work on him. Let me stay with him. Please?" 

Dr. Harper looks at the ceiling and shakes his head. "Fine. Go." 

"Thank you so much, sir." Dean rushes off. 

When he gets to the room, he sees that Cas is asleep. He must've gotten tired from the panic attack. Dean relaxes and decides he'll just sit in the recliner and read until Cas wakes up. 

• • •

An hour later, Cas wakes up and immediately starts coughing. Dean gets up quickly to stand by his side. "Hey, Cas. It's me," he says so as not to startle him. He reaches across Cas to grab the basin from before and hands it to him. Dean rests a hand on his back. Dean says comforting things to Cas, waiting for it to be over. Eventually, Cas leans back, breathing hard. 

Dean takes the basin and replaces it on the table. Dean looks at Cas and notices that his face is flushed and he's sweating. Upon putting the back of his hand to Cas' forehead, Dean realizes he's burning up. He looks up at the monitors, notes his low pulse ox. He looks at Cas whose eyes are wide and desperate. His chest is rising and falling rapidly; Dean can't tell if it's from the coughing or if he's having a panic attack again. 

"Cas, do you want the oxygen mask on?" he asks. 

Castiel nods. Dean gentle takes off the nasal cannula and replaces it with the mask. Dean watches as Castiel's breathing slows and his eyes start to close from exhaustion. Before he can fully fall asleep, Dean says, "Your fever's gotten a lot higher. Do you want me to get a wet washcloth for your head?" Cas nods. 

When Dean gets back, it looks like Cas is asleep. Dean goes up to him and lightly touches his shoulder. Cas opens his eyes to look at him. Dean holds up the washcloth for Cas to see. Cas nods and closes his eyes again. Dean pulls the chair closer so he can sit next to the bed. He sits and starts gently wiping Cas' forehead with the cloth. Cas relaxes. His breathing slows to almost normal but there's still a wheeze.

Dean glances at the monitor and notices that the pulse ox has improved. Dean asks Cas if he wants him to replace the mask with the cannula, knowing it'll be more comfortable. Cas keeps his eyes closed and nods very slightly. 

Cas lifts his head just enough for Dean to get the mask off. Then Dean puts the nasal cannula back on. He sighs and sits back down. Dean continues wiping Cas' face and neck until it seems like he's fully asleep then he lays the washcloth on Cas' forehead. 

Dean runs a hand down his face. That was hard enough to watch; he can't imagine what it's like for Cas. He exhales slowly and decides to go out for a bit.

• • •

Dean gets back to the room at the same time they're delivering breakfast. Dean reaches out and touches Cas' hand to wake him up. His eyes go right to Dean as he wakes up. "Breakfast," Dean says.

The woman sets the food down on the table and slides it so it's in front of Cas. "There you go," she says. 

Dean leans back in his seat and sets his own breakfast on his lap, something he got to-go from the cafeteria. 

Cas takes the washcloth off his head and sets it down beside the food. Then, he picks up the remote and uses it to move his bed up and he's sitting more upright. He takes the lid off the tray and grimaces at the food. Dean looks at the plate. "That doesn't look so bad," he says. 

"Everything looks bad," Cas says. "I've hardly eaten anything in a week. All food is disgusting." 

"Even the pancakes? They're plain, shouldn't upset your stomach." 

"Yeah, I guess..." Cas picks up the fork and starts poking at the food. 

"How'd you sleep?" Dean asks. 

"I don't know. I don't really remember much." 

"Well, your fever got pretty high and you were exhausted so that makes sense." 

"Did I ask you to stay here?" 

"How much do you remember?" 

"Not much after I got admitted. Bits and pieces." 

"Well, um, let's see. After you were admitted, I went to sleep in an on-call room. You had a coughing episode so the nurse paged me. Do you remember that?" 

"Only vaguely." 

"Yeah, so then I stayed until vitals check." 

"Didn't you do that?" Castiel asks. 

"Yeah." 

"And then that one doctor kicked you out." 

Dean laughs bitterly. "Dr. Harper. He's an ass. Don't worry though. He's too high up on the food chain; he won't take over your case." 

Cas looks scared then. "Wait, what do you mean, 'take over'?" 

"Oh, don't worry," Dean says quickly. "That's what he was yelling at me about. I exceeded my hours for this week so he made me go home. I told him I wanted to stay here, but he said I could only do that if I stepped back as your doctor until I can come back to work." 

"So you're staying here on your days off to be with me?" 

"Yeah, I guess." 

Cas turns his head away. "Crap. You shouldn't have to do that for me." Then, more to himself, he says, "I'm 38 years old. I should be able to handle this." 

"Cas, it's okay," Dean says gently. "The hospital is scary for a lot of people, and no one is judging you for having anxiety. We're all here to help." Cas still won't look at him. "C'mon. Eat up. The doctor's coming by soon and we lecture when our patients don't eat." 

Cas smiles slightly. "Fine." 


	5. Chapter 5

It turns out that Dr. Cooper is the one who gets his case. She knocks on the door lightly before coming in. "Hey, guys," she says. She smiles. Dean always liked her. She's nice and good with patients. "How are you feeling, Cas? Do you remember me from last night? You weren't doing so good then." She frowns a little sympathetically. 

"I feel a little better," he says quietly. Dean notices his hands on the blanket; they're tight around it. 

"He had a couple coughing spells," Dean informs her. "And his fever spiked early this morning, but we got it back down." 

Dr. Cooper nods. She looks at his chart for a minute then back up at Cas. "Do you mind if I check your temperature again? It's important that we keep it under control. We might have to switch you to chilled IV fluids if it's too high." 

"Sure." 

Dr. Cooper finds the thermometer and sticks it under Cas' tongue. "Can I listen to your lungs?" Cas nods. She takes her red stethoscope from around her neck and starts to listen. Her gaze is focused downward and she listens for awhile since it's her first time with Cas. Dean watches intently. It's killing him that he can't do it himself, to be right by his patient for so long without being able to really check on him. She has Cas sit up and then listens from the back. The thermometer beeps and Dr. Cooper puts the stethoscope back around her neck and takes out the thermometer. 

"What is it?" Dean asks. 

"103.6" 

Damn. "How are his lungs?" 

"Did Harper ban you from checking on your patient?" 

Dean scoffs. "How'd you guess?" 

"He's a jerk. Good lay though." 

"Gross! Cooper, seriously?" 

She shrugs. "It's only happened a couple times." 

"Doesn't make it better." Dean shudders. Dean crosses his arms. "How do Cas' lungs sound?" 

"Well, I don't really have a baseline to compare it to but he seems to be doing okay." To Cas, she says, "You'll start feeling better soon. Okay?" 

"Okay." 

"Do you need anything or do you have any questions?" Cas shakes his head. "Okay, good. I'll be back later to check on you." 

"Cooper, wait up," Dean says. "I want to talk to you about a patient." 

"Sure, come on," she says. 

The two walk outside into the hallway and go a little past Cas' room. "I assume the patient you want to talk about is Castiel Novak?" 

"Yes..."

Dr. Cooper rolls her eyes at him. "His lungs sound like crap. I mean, damn. How long did he wait to come in?" 

"I think he was sick for a week and it started getting bad about two weeks ago." 

"Wow." 

"Yeah." 

"Well, anyway, I'd say he'll have to be here for a week, maybe two." 

Dean nods in agreement. "At first I thought it'd be a few days, but after looking at the films and examining him more, I was thinking a week or longer." 

"It seems like you have things under control here. I'm thinking Jo should be his nurse. You agree?" 

"Sounds good," Dean says. 

"Okay. I'll make sure it's just me and her on his case." She sighs. "Anxiety sucks. And he seems so sweet too." 

"I know," Dean says. 

"Alright, I'll see you later," Dr. Cooper says. 

"Sure thing." 

• • •

Castiel ends up mostly sleeping for the next few days, waking only for vitals checks, to eat (barely), and to practically hack up a lung. None of these were voluntary, by the way. 

One day, he's actually able to stay awake for more than an hour at a time. It isn't much better though. He can't shake the fever, he's still coughing, and he's still on oxygen. He had even started doing better with the anxiety. Until he had a panic attack one day. 

Dean gets paged 911 to Castiel's room, and he runs. When he gets there, Dr. Cooper is outside the door. "Thank God you're here," she says. "Maybe you can talk some sense into him." 

Dean enters the room, closes the door behind him. Cas is beside the bed looking through his duffle bag that his brothers had brought. His hands are shaking, he's sweating and breathing hard. The nasal cannula is discarded, laying on the bed. 

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean asks. 

Castiel doesn't look at him. "Found it," he says, pulling a wallet out of the bag. 

"Cas," Dean says again. "You need to get back in bed." He keeps his voice gentle but with an authoritative edge to it. Dean walks slowly over to the bed. 

"I d-don't need to b-be here," Cas says. His voice shakes; he's hyperventilating. "I j-just want to go home."

"Cas, you're sick. You need to sit down." 

"I need to _get out_ of here." Cas finds a shirt in the bag and pulls it out. 

Before Cas can reach back inside, Dean puts his hand over it. "Cas, look at me."

His entire body is shaking now. He looks up at Dean. His eyes are wide with fear with bruises of exhaustion under them. 

"Take a minute," Dean says. "What do you normally do when you get a panic attack?" 

"I go – I go somewhere quiet. Alone. Wait." 

"Okay, so how about you sit down on the bed?" Cas nods reluctantly. Dean quickly grabs Castiel's wallet off the bed and puts it in the duffle which he then sets down on the floor. Cas gets back in bed slowly. "Are you dizzy?" Dean asks. Years of being a doctor, he knows the signs. Even if he didn't, it wouldn't be hard to figure out. Cas can hardly breathe as it is. He needs oxygen administered through a nasal cannula. Cas nods in answer to the question. "Is it okay if I give you the oxygen mask?" Dean asks. 

"Yeah." 

Dean gets the mask, and puts it over his nose and mouth and then the strap behind his head. Dean wants to check the man's vitals but he figures that would just be pressing his luck and might make Cas panic even more. So instead, he circles the bed and sits in the same chair from the other days. He watches Cas as his breathing slowly returns to normal and his body stops shaking. 

After a couple minutes, Dean asks, "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?" 

Cas takes a deep breath before taking off the mask. "I want to go home," he says quietly. 

"I know you do. I know. And you know you can't." Cas closes his eyes in defeat. Dean gets up out of the chair and helps Cas exchange the mask for the cannula. "You need someone with you, to take care of you. There's walking pneumonia and there's this. You can hardly get out of bed. You can't make food for yourself or anything. You said it yourself: your brothers can't take time off work. You need to stay here," Dean says. 

"I know. It's my fault too. I was too afraid to go to the doctor to get tested for the flu, and I end up in the hospital instead."

"Don't blame yourself." Cas looks at him doubtfully. "Blame your brain. Your stupid, screwed-up brain. It's not your fault. It's biology's fault. Genetics. Chemicals. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do. You shouldn't blame yourself." 

Cas smiles slightly. "I don't know how, but that kind of helped." 

"Yeah, well." Dean sighs. "It's late. What do you want to do? Sleep? Call your brothers? Watch TV?" 

"I don't know..." 

"Do you want to watch something together?" 

"Sure. You pick. I'm too tired to move." Dean grabs the remote. "Just don't pick something lame."

"No promises." 


	6. Chapter 6

It's after this that Cas finally starts getting better. It starts with his fever dropping. Then he stops coughing as much, and starts eating more. His pulse ox gets better. His blood pressure steadily lowers as his anxiety lessens. It's slow going. All of this takes another week. But what's really great is that as he gets better, Dean and Cas start talking and getting to know each other. 

At the end of the two weeks, Dean comes in Cas' room and sets a clipboard on the table. "Discharge papers." 

"What?" Cas asks. 

"Temp and pulse ox are normal. Lungs sound good. You've been eating. You can walk multiple laps without getting winded. It's time." Cas' face falls. "What's wrong?" Dean asks. "I thought you'd be happy to get out of here." 

Cas looks down at his hands, fumbling with the blanket. "I guess. I mean, I hate vitals checks and I hate being stuck in this bed, but..." 

"But what, Cas?"

"I don't hate _you_. I'll miss you." 

"Bees." 

"What?" Cas looks up at Dean. 

"You got one of those bee hive things when you realized they help with your anxiety. And a cat." A smile starts to form on Cas' lips. "You choose Superman over Batman, which I still think is ridiculous. Jack is like a son to you. You have a crap load of siblings. You love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches more than any other food." Dean pauses. "It takes awhile for you to warm up to people, but it's worth it." Cas looks down quickly and then back up at Dean. "Second on your list of favorite foods is pasta. Which is why I made reservations for two at Fratelli's for next weekend." 

Cas smiles. "Really?" 

"Really. Pick you up at 6:30?" 

"Can't wait." 

Dean smiles. "Me neither." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end :)
> 
> I'm really sorry there's no fluff and stuff but I'm aromantic so that stuff is basically impossible for me to write. Suggestions for extending this chapter and adding more, or making a sequel are welcomed and encouraged. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this story!


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